Anti-Pyro Safety

By Vittoria Burgess

A boarded-up brick fireplace
Its entirety untrusted to college students

Grease lines my fingertips

This unfinished book stares into my soul
When I listen to the radio 
I wonder if I’m meant to hear it

Each brick scratched and scraped with intent 
Markers and paint have cautiously vandalized secret valleys in its grout 
Burnt edges peak out from underneath 

The beginnings of mistrust 
Far before we met

New rugs hide history in the recently buffed-out wood floors

Indecisive about personhood

Is it okay for me to change ideologies so quickly?
to fully believe one thing and then fully believe the next? 
There is deep-rooted guilt in my every action 
I’ve been given things and told I should be lucky I have them at all
Learned to settle for less 
Believing I don’t deserve more

This red brick fireplace clashes with the silver wall in front of it

Hiding a trusting life 
One that’s fulfilled

I’m supposed to change with the seasons
The weather
I’ll let the temperature tell me how to feel

If snow ever falls again 
I will pry that grey slab away from those red bricks
And start a fire in the heart of this college house
Let something feel useful against the ideas of my youth

The next time I am bad 
I will blame the weather 
And sneak off to feel better

Against someone’s pleading wishes
For their own image