TWICE MINDED

By Jameson Gillihan

I put things off again last night
the countertop flour trail
crusty forks water-bogged rice maggoting the drain slick-slop butcherbait or wo-
Somebody is in my kitchen.
Why is there another person
in my kitchen.

There’s a stranger scrubbing stovetop grease and meatstuff off the counter
Purging pink slime my slime get your fucking hands off my slime

To stop the stranger I plug my nose and plop my tongue on the cutting board
defiantly (I WILL DO THE CLEANING)
I lick pig juice from polyethylene

slurp

This does not deter the stranger,
who in fact seems almost compelled by the scene, this strange head slapping the counter
tongue flailing like an animal
that shits itself or sheds its limbs in panic, and what are you going to do about it? Are you really
just going to keep cleaning?

It was kind of a point of pride, seeing how dirty my kitchen could get.
I liked seeing smell become
tangible
I liked that I could affect the world in this way
I liked having irrefutable proof that there might be something wrong with me

So
you're kind of fucking up my everything
what you're doing right now

The stranger hums sniffles or shifts the way one does bored or uncomfortable.
The speaker realizes their position
primed like pork for carving
and I didn’t put the knives away last night
obviously

[

]

That’s the sound of nothing happening.
Despite being splayed wide and irresistible
I guess I’m not good enough for whoever is in my kitchen.
Something about me is just
unappetizing.

Are you really not interested in cutting me up?
Would you at least think about it
I imagine the look on your face
slicing strips of me
underwhelmingly 
all I can do is imagine
at some point you’ll succumb to the urge 
or my jaw will get tired

Would you succumb to the urge already

[

]

That’s still the sound of nothing happening
and still, nothing happens,
serrated sloshing rough-side sponge
silver-on-silver 
sink-soaked leftovers

The stranger says I don't have to take control of my body by hurting it
I can take control of my body
by taking care of it
So would you take your tongue
off the cutting board
please

The stranger puts the knives away

My jaw is getting tired