Bridge

By Mairi Travis

Selfishly
I see parts of you as mine now
Selfishly
I read your poetry
And selfishly
I tear out a page and beg my family to let me keep it
Because it made me cry
For the first time
I didn’t cry when I heard you were in the hospital
I didn’t cry when they told me you weren’t gonna make it
I didn’t cry when they told me you were dead
But I cried today
Over your writing
Over a poem you wrote about a breakup
A lovesick poem that had no business affecting me and that I had no business reading
I’ll keep that poem forever now
Put it in my box of secret things I can’t stand to look at
I’ll read it again and again until I’ve memorized your misery
Until our pain is intertwined as one
Until my tear stains cover yours

My cousin got her cat. I got her suicide note.