Fire Doesn’t Work
By Amy Saad
As a kid I hated fireworks I never understood the purpose of the excruciating loud noise only for a moment of lights in the sky to diminish within the second I never thought the noise was worth it it isn’t worth it to poison the sky with dangerous fumes just so the little people can look at the lights and cover their ears but people did it anyway and people will continue to do so because it’s pretty and life is short and it was only $20 at the grocery store and you only live once and why not and as I got older I began to appreciate them more sure the noise was annoying but I got used to it and familiarized myself with the popping of the fireworks and was able to watch them through my window with my index finger against my ears and as I got even older the noise no longer bothered me and I stood outside with my neighbors on every 4th of july and listened to the screech as it reached the sky and the BANG as it exploded against the stars and poured bright lights of pretty colors and I never noticed the evolution of my appreciation for the fireworks until I was in the corner in 4th grade and my teacher told us to be quiet if we wanted to survive and I remember watching the news of the school 15 minutes from me and listening to the audio of the shooting inside the school of the people who I went to preschool with and I remember hiding in the biology lab in my highschool with 50 elbows touching as we wept and I texted Mom I love you I’m scared and I remember watching the news of the next school and the next one and the next one with tiny kids and teenagers who looked like me and scared adults with the same shooting and I watch the news today and see the bombings and killings in Palestine and Congo and Sudan and in so many places that I can not name them all and it sounded too familiar to the fireworks that took me so long to love and I can no longer hear the noise of the fireworks without getting flashbacks and I can no longer be at school and hear a bang and think nothing of it and I can no longer hear the sounds of the fireworks outside my window without a million thoughts rushing through my mind and I am so lucky I am so lucky I am so lucky I will forever be luckier than the children who only know popping as a gun and I am so lucky the only popping noises I’ve heard are the fireworks on the 4th of july and New Years and Memorial Day and the birthday of the neighbors and the graduation of the kid down the block and I am so lucky the only popping noise I heard in school was the drill that the police made us do after my friends died 15 minutes away from me